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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Communion Wafers Sold as Snack Food

In Quebec, a traditionally conservative and Catholic region, people can now buy communion wafers in their local grocery stores. They aren't making purchases for their priests, however. The communion wafers are popular as easy snacks. The Body of Christ: low in fat, low in calories, good for your cholesterol.

The Globe and Mail reports:

“They melt in your mouth, and they’re not fattening, so it’s better than junk food,” said Françoise Laporte, a white-haired grandmother of 71 who buys packages of Host Pieces at her local IGA in east-end Montreal. “I’m Catholic. This reminds us of mass.”

The Body of Christ: melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

“My son can eat a whole bag while he’s watching TV,” Paul Saumure, a manager at another IGA store, said of his 22-year-old. “He’s had more of them outside of church than he ever did inside one.”

At this point, I start to wonder if the story is just satire.

“When you eat chips there’s all the fat and salt. You eat a bag of host cuttings and there’s none,” Mr. Bonneau said. “You might have high blood pressure or a cholesterol problem. It’s not exactly crunchy granola stuff, but it is natural.”

Jesus, the all-natural snack. No artificial colors or flavors.

Though... I wonder what artificially-flavored Jesus would taste like?

Catholic comic Dane Cook even talks about taking Communion and liking these "Croutons O'Christ". He jokes about taking the the bowl away from the Priest and running home and pouring milk over them and eating them like cereal. "Start you day the Holy way with Christ Chex Cereal".

With these low-fat wafers and wine, it is apparent the Catholics have way better snacks than do the Baptists .....all we ever got was little saltines and grape juice.

And no...before any offended people write me, I am not making fun of your faith. But I think God gave us a sense of humor and expects us to use it. He certainly uses his. Perhaps if we had laughed more at ourselves, instead of being so serious, we would not be at war right now.

And yes...I do in fact know that I am going to Hell, or so my ex-wife's family has told me so many many times.

Peace and Light

Jeff

6 Comments:

At 2:49 AM, Blogger B O B said...

Hi Jeff, Catholic communion wafers are like a damp circular piece of bread which is unleavened and soft. It is pure white and tends to stick to the roof of your mouth. As a snack food it may have merits, the unblessed ones of course, but I think the recipe is quite secret or the Baptists would be in seventh heaven.

 
At 2:55 AM, Blogger Jeff said...

I dunno. At my bro's wedding at that gorgeous Cathedral in Roanoke, I had the occasion to taste the wafers and wine. The wine was palatable (tho I would have gone with a good Shiraz), but the wafer seemed to be made from a slice of fiberglass. If anything, it reminded me of the wafer thin turkey calls you can get when going hunting.

Not sure I agree with the hooplah, but hey...I only report the news...I don't make it. :)

 
At 3:05 AM, Blogger B O B said...

Well Jeff you may know better than me its been 20 years since I had a communion wafer in my mouth, and they didnt serve wine then. Perhaps the receipe has changed, or my perceptions hae changed. I will have to try it again sometime. But first I would have 20 years of sins to confess, before I can partake, that could take awhile.

 
At 3:06 AM, Blogger Jeff said...

Maybe you could do it in stages....you know, like a 12 step sin reduction program. LOL

 
At 3:21 AM, Blogger B O B said...

Well, I am banking on the Bible. The only reference that Jesus ever made of anyone making it to Heaven was a thief, who was crucified with him. I have never been a thief apart from the rhubarb theft I made as a child. Eating raw rhubarb cured me from ever stealing again. There was a built in deterrence being sick as a dog. If a thief can make it to Heaven there is hope for me. And if I get there, I am sure you will be there giving me pointers, on what to say to Saint Peter to get through the pearly gates.

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger D L Ennis said...

Funny stuff Jeff!

 

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