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Saturday, October 15, 2005

Lynchburg's Saturday's Technorati Top Ten

Each Saturday we report to our local southern friends, what all the Yankees are searching for on Technorati We do this as a service, because all of us southerners are just muddled by what these Yankees are looking for. We serve as the Southern translation serivice until babble fish figures our language out.

1. IIPM: hmmm, not even a Yankee could come up with this one. Seems to come all the way from India, and they have the sue me sue you blues. We have read what they have said about this. But sorry it sounds like when you call for customer support. You can not just understand or make out what they mean. We think companies really enjoy when their customers are left confused and befuddled.

2. Paul Krugman: Now we wish these Yankees just wouldn’t be so troublesome. See they have this trick up at the New York Times. They got this idea that you should pay to read some of their writers. Gives you the idea that they do not like a free press at all. They want you to pay. So the Yankees keep looking for where someone reprinted what they had to say elsewhere. That’s Yankee ingenuity for you. We sneak around and look too., and then find out it is usually not worth the ether it is printed on. He wrote something about a question of character, but we didn’t see his answer.

3. Karl Rove: Now even us southerners know who Karl Rove is, he’s the presidents right hand man. But Bush doesn’t always look to see what Karl’s left hand is doing. Now in the south we keep things plain and simple. If Karl did do something that put one of our spies in danger, he is dumb stupid. We are not going to care so much if he broke the law or not. If he was dumb stupid, he should be tarred and feathered and pulled out of Washington on a rail. Now, though if he didn’t do the dumb stupid thing, we think he should be left just plain alone.

4. David Brooks: This is what David Brooks said, "You know you are in establishment Republican circles when the conversation is bland but unifying. You know you are in conservative circles when it is interesting but divisive." OK, you make sense out of that. Here in the south we just plain don’t talk like that. Now, the New York Times wants us to pay and read their free press. But if Yankees are going to talk like this I am going to have to get a Yankee to come down here and translate. Or does the New York Times have a customer service person in India to help me understand.

5. Bird Flu: We love our southern fried chicken here. Some of the birds get lucky and flew away before ma could put the grip on them. But on a more serious note, we know that bird flu is a bad thing. Seems like what they are really worried about is that someone who has another kind of flu will catch it and their will be a gene mix up. If this happens it will be a lot easier to drive on the freeway.

6. Gmail: We got Gmail here, trouble we find is that we can get our mail just fine but can’t send it. Is there a customer service person in India that can help me out, or will I learn about IIPM?

7. Ipod: Seems like these Yankees like these little toys that they can put in their top pocket. We have a carnival coming to town soon, just for Yankees. We made a deal with them that when those Yankees get turned upside down we get to split the Ipods that spill out. We are liable to give them back to Yankees if all they got on it is rap music.

8. Refco: A company of referees that have formed together to loan people money. Trouble is they forgot the rules. Chances are there is going to be big trouble from this.

9. Flock: Yankees are always tinkering with their new fancyfied machines. This is a new browser. Sometimes we go to drug store and browse the New York Times. The drug store manager has had enough trouble with the old browsers, and not looking for new browsers to flock to his store.

10. RSS: This is how a lot of people find our writing. So this has to be a good thing. Yankees are not all bad.


At 6:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Surely you can read English and figure out the IIPM story if you really care, instead of shouting racist remarks and jumping on "Customer Support from India" at every instance?

At 6:54 PM, Blogger B O B said...

Thank you for your comment. racist as far as the dictionary defines is: The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.

In no way did I imply that, in this parody. Now why would I mention Indians so much? Well contrary to your assumptions, I think Indians are very bright people.

If I had any gripe at all it would be for the outsourcing that companies do to foreign countries in general. Have I had difficulty at times speaking on the phone with some of these representatives?

Yes, I have. There are pronunciation differences, and cultural differences that does make it hard to communicate. I think if we are all honest we all can admit that.

Racism is a term that can be wielded easy in assault, sometimes I wish that people would think before they use that term.

At 5:05 PM, Anonymous Gravy Beard said...

A great piece as always!


At 5:07 PM, Blogger B O B said...

Thanks Gravy Beard.


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