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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Rules of Acquistition - A Ferengi Business Model

Normally, I would post this to the Star Trek page, but with Bob's post below about the gas prices going back up, I could not help but thing about the Rules of Acquisition. In the Star trek world, there is a species known as the Ferengi, pronounced Fuh-ring-gee ,with a hard G (as in give).The Ferengi are the consummate businessmen. In fact, their whole culture is set up around the acquisition of profit. Their culture is one of money and greed. They have, over the course of their existence, developed a set of guidelines called the Rules of Acquisition. These Rules have in reality become law, regulating every aspect of there life. There are some 300 odd rules, but I have selected a few that seem appropriate for our current state of affairs...especially with the oil companies.

Rule 001 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule 002 The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule 006 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 009 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 010 Greed is eternal.
Rule 020 Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
Rule 021 Never place friendship before profit.

Rule 029 What's in it for me?
Rule 033 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule 034 War is good for business.
Rule 035 Peace is good for business.
Rule 060 Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 072 Never trust your customers.
Rule 073 If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.

Rule 087 A friend in need means three times the profit.
Rule 097 Enough... is never enough.
Rule 098 Every man has his price.
Rule 099 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule 100 If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
Rule 101 The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Rule 104 Faith moves mountains... (of inventory).

Rule 107 A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
Rule 109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rule 111 Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].
Rule 115 The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
Rule 116 There's always a catch.
Rule 117 Everything is for sale, including friendship.\
Rule 127 Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.

Rule 142 There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Rule 177 Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Rule 181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule 188 A fool and his money is the best customer.
Rule 189 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Rule 217 You can't free a fish from water.
Rule 231 There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.

Rule 239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule 241 Never trust a hardworking employee.
Rule 242 More is good... all is better.
Rule 260 Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
Rule 299 Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit then the next time.

You know..I do believe that some of our nation’s big business execs must be ardent Star Trek fans, either that, or the Star trek writers are keenly observant of our nations big business execs.

For the complete list go here

To learn more about the Ferengi, go here

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